Navigating senior years.

Donstar · November 2

11 minutes ago, diyer2 said:

Look at air beds, adjust the firmness to your aches. We've had one for many years, would never go back to a mattress. Mattress needs replaced due to wear saging, air bed saves in the long run.

I will look into air beds. We have slept on air mattresses as guests but not experienced one set-up for regular use.

customboss · November 2

2 hours ago, Donstar said:

We're shopping for a new Queen sized mattress and box spring today. Our initial look online reminded me how much I hate shopping for a new mattress! We're heading to a couple of big box type furniture stores and hoping a great deal on the ultimate in comfort mattress will pop! Any suggestions? I consider us to be a pretty average 70+ year old couple with our share of aches and pains! We know better than to buy the cheapest but don't wish to experience financial hardship over the price of a high end bed!

I feel ya. Mattress is key for me to be able to move in am.

diyer2 · November 2

Not an air mattress, air bed.

https://www.sleepnumber.com/pages/smart-beds

Donstar · November 3

Mattress buying is not for the faint of heart! The choices are endless and the pricing is designed to blow your budget. The air smart beds are very interesting and have added another variable to consider. Each furniture store is setup to lure the shopper to a mattress that costs just a little more than the one at your maximum pre-determined budget! You can't accurately compare prices from store to store because they change model names of the brand you wish to compare. One salesperson showed us three different mattresses. There was less than a $500 range in their "sale" price but there was a $1800 range in their "regular" price. Of course the most expensive mattress comes with the largest discount. The store wants you to justify overspending thinking you're saving the most money! A friend recommended a mattress that she recently purchased at a store near where she lives. She was given $1,000 off the asking price. We found what we believe to be an equivalent model at our local store. Our store's regular price was $1000 more than the regular price at our friend's store but our sale price is $2000 less than the regular price! We could brag to our friend that we saved twice as much as she did yet we'd pay the same as her for the same product! More such fun is ahead of us today!

KARNUT · November 3

There’s only a few things we buy new. Electronics, appliances. Shoes, underwear and of course mattresses. Buying a mattress is like buying a car. Money can dictate the life of the product. Research and buying on sale is a must. I remember an employee stating after buying a bedroom set he paid 10k for it. This was 15 years ago. My wife can do a house for that. From resale shops to moving garage sales. I remember my wife getting frustrated buying a mattress. It’s not fun.

KARNUT · November 4

On 11/2/2024 at 7:56 AM, KARNUT said:

Fortunately I can sleep anywhere. The mattress deal is handled by my wife. She makes sure that any mattress she buys can be returned. I’ve seen her spend months testing mattresses before settling on one.

I asked my wife about her mattress experience. The first mattress she had delivered was in the 1200$ range. She didn’t like it. The next one she tried from the same store was in the 500$ range. She liked that one. Several years later she got a topper through the mail.

Donstar · November 4

Yesterday we succumbed to the wisdom/skills of a salesperson. We actually bought the same brand as our previous mattress but supposedly a better model. We also bought the adjustable base and a couple of very expensive pillows. The total price far exceeded our wildest dreams and we feel a little ill about spending this much! However, we are telling ourselves this is instead of a vacation holiday and will last much longer! We also downsized from a king to a queen which will give us more floor space in our bedroom. The only one who will object to us sleeping closer together will be our dog!

Donstar · November 9

Third night on our new bed and we're very pleased. We appreciate our good fortune in being able to afford such a luxury at a time when so many people don't even have a place to call home. There are a myriad of reasons why so many struggle and there isn't a universal solution. Politicians propose solutions that may mask some of the more visible poverty but such initiatives simply scratch the surface. Influential people like David Ramsey promote giving generously. This is helpful and I think this should be in addition to identifying and giving personal assistance to struggling members of your own extended family. We have some highly visible homeless camps in our city and every resident is somehow connected to someone who isn't homeless. I know the issue is compounded by mental health and, criminal activity but if we all did our part we could bring greater focus to those needing special help. I can name two families who have plucked a relative off the street and are supporting the basics for these needy individuals. I also know of a family who have "given up" on a family member. I appreciate that we all need to put on our oxygen mask first and we need to be safe. I go by the mantra that if I'm not part of the solution, I'm part of the problem. We give, and we also help keep a family member off the street. We gave a little more yesterday to ease our conscience over our recent purchase!

Grumpy Bear · November 9

25 minutes ago, Donstar said:

Third night on our new bed and we're very pleased. We appreciate our good fortune in being able to afford such a luxury at a time when so many people don't even have a place to call home. There are a myriad of reasons why so many struggle and there isn't a universal solution. Politicians propose solutions that may mask some of the more visible poverty but such initiatives simply scratch the surface. Influential people like David Ramsey promote giving generously. This is helpful and I think this should be in addition to identifying and giving personal assistance to struggling members of your own extended family. We have some highly visible homeless camps in our city and every resident is somehow connected to someone who isn't homeless. I know the issue is compounded by mental health and, criminal activity but if we all did our part we could bring greater focus to those needing special help. I can name two families who have plucked a relative off the street and are supporting the basics for these needy individuals. I also know of a family who have "given up" on a family member. I appreciate that we all need to put on our oxygen mask first and we need to be safe. I go by the mantra that if I'm not part of the solution, I'm part of the problem. We give, and we also help keep a family member off the street. We gave a little more yesterday to ease our conscience over our recent purchase!

A Bible is also a book of practical advice....

Solomon wrote at Ecclesiastes 11:1,2 Cast your bread on the waters, for after many days you will find it again. Give a share to seven or even to eight, for you do not know what disaster will occur on the earth.

Again Jesus words at Luke 6:38 "Practice giving, and people will give to you. They will pour into your laps a fine measure, pressed down, shaken together, and overflowing. For with the measure that you are measuring out, they will measure out to you in return.”

But according to your means, right? Paul at 2 Corinthians 10-14 notes: "And in this I give my opinion: This is for your benefit, seeing that already a year ago you not only initiated the action but also showed your desire to do it. 11 So now, also complete what you started to do, so that your readiness to act may be completed according to the means you have available.  For if the readiness is there first, it is especially acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what a person does not have.  For I do not want to make it easy for others, but difficult for you;  but that by means of an equalizing, your surplus at the present time might offset their need, so that their surplus might also offset your deficiency, that there may be an equalizing.  Just as it is written: “The person with much did not have too much, and the person with little did not have too little.”

Grumpy Bear · November 9

On 11/4/2024 at 8:53 AM, Donstar said:

Yesterday we succumbed to the wisdom/skills of a salesperson. We actually bought the same brand as our previous mattress but supposedly a better model. We also bought the adjustable base and a couple of very expensive pillows. The total price far exceeded our wildest dreams and we feel a little ill about spending this much! However, we are telling ourselves this is instead of a vacation holiday and will last much longer! We also downsized from a king to a queen which will give us more floor space in our bedroom. The only one who will object to us sleeping closer together will be our dog!

I was laughing in agreement with the comment about your dog. Ours is a bed hog. LOL

KARNUT · November 9

I’m not a dog person. My wife treats the dog as a baby. It acts as one. After several over the years this one has a personality like I’ve never seen. At night its bed is in the kitchen. If anything is amiss we’ll know with plenty of time to arm. I can’t imagine any creature joining us at night. Unless it can learn to shower at night.

Donstar · November 10

A few years ago we looked after a friend's family home while they all went to Vegas for a destination wedding. They had two small dogs similar in size to ours. These dogs also slept on their owners' bed. For a week we had three dogs sharing a bed with us! We were warned that one of their dogs likes to burrow under the blankets during the night. The first night I awoke to what I thought was my wife breathing down my neck being cozy...

Donstar · November 12

Yesterday was Remembrance Day. My father served and survived WWII and I have always taken this special day seriously. I chose this particular day to make contact with an old friend of my Dads. I haven't seen this man since my father's death 23 years ago. I had no idea if he was still alive but dialed an old phone number. He answered my call on the third ring, I introduced myself, and we were off like no time had passed since our last conversation. This guy was is 8 years younger than my Dad but connected with my Dad since birth. He was too young to enlist during WWII but can speak with first hand experience of life during the war. Speaking with this gentleman felt almost super natural and made for an unforgettable experience on this day of remembering!

Donstar · November 13

The 92 year old mentioned above was one of those living a lifestyle that doesn't typically result in such longevity. The reaction from others who knew him when I tell them about my phone conversation is always surprise that this man is still alive. Unfortunately, his previous lifestyle didn't include planning for life into his 90's and now his life is a very basic existence. He wouldn't serve well an example promoting healthy habits but he could definitely serve as an example to promote contributing to a retirement savings plan!

Grumpy Bear · November 13

15 minutes ago, Donstar said:

He wouldn't serve well an example promoting healthy habits but he could definitely serve as an example to promote contributing to a retirement savings plan!

Solomon at Eccl 9:11,12 noted: I have seen something further under the sun, that the swift do not always win the race, nor do the mighty win the battle, nor do the wise always have the food, nor do the intelligent always have the riches, nor do those with knowledge always have success, because time and unexpected events overtake them all. For man does not know his time. Just as fish are caught in an evil net and birds are caught in a trap, so the sons of men are ensnared in a time of disaster, when it suddenly overtakes them.

We did as advised as a 20 year old's'. We indeed saved a tidy sum and between the two of us accumulated what we were promised as individuals [so about half each] as market greed ate away at it and since then regulation, taxes and changes to those laws over the decades and earning power deprecation will assure that whatever is left will be consumed by healthcare and any remainder given to the beneficiaries of the estate. We saved until we suffered and now suffer as a result of that saving.

Oddly we are going to be one of the minority of couples whose professional advisers tell us "You did better than good". Well...we were always risk adverse. Those the grew up with us, on a whole, faired much worse perusing riches.

My mothers fight with heart disease ended in death but not before sucking the families entire life savings.

Do I think saving and investing is a good thing? Yes. Devoting or dedicating a life to it? Not so much.... I conclude as Solomon did at the end of chapter 12:

[The words of the wise are like oxgoads, and their collected sayings are like firmly embedded nails; they have been given from one shepherd. As for anything besides these, my son, be warned: To the making of many books there is no end, and much devotion to them is wearisome to the flesh. The conclusion of the matter, everything having been heard, is: Fear the true God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole obligation of man. For the true God will judge every deed, including every hidden thing, as to whether it is good or bad.]