Covid19 Spare time

[Grumpy Bear]

1 hour ago, Donstar said:

We are trying to transition back to our normal routines as my wife becomes more able.  Yesterday, we pretended it was like a work day and wrote out a day plan complete with time allotted for each task!  We both accomplished what we needed and look forward to our "day off" today!   I know there are individuals who worry that they won't have enough to do when they retire but I wish to enlighten those people to the reality that your schedule will fill up fast!    

 

Learned a new thing taking care of Mrs. Bear. You set their expectations early. You think you can do whatever it takes for as long as it takes, and they get used to it. You can do the first part but the 'for as long as it takes'......

 

A few weeks into it I told her,

 

"You have to rest the mule and feed the mule, or your mule will die, and you will have no mule." 

[Donstar]

2 hours ago, KARNUT said:

It doesn’t help that it takes longer to do tasks. I just spent a day in a half to do a job that would have taken a couple hours 20 years ago. That wouldn’t be so bad. The recovery time takes twice as long. Muscle cramps are so much fun. I must learn to hire some tasks out.

Exactly!  This is why we went through the exercise of allocating time to each task.  Often our "to do" lists are designed for our much younger bodies and minds.  By setting realistic expectations, our success rate improved dramatically!  For example, changing the sheets on our king sized bed was once a one-person task done in concert with a myriad of other domestic tasks.  Now, changing the sheets is a well planned dedicated activity requiring coordination with each others' needs, abilities and time. 

[KARNUT]

14 minutes ago, Donstar said:

Exactly!  This is why we went through the exercise of allocating time to each task.  Often our "to do" lists are designed for our much younger bodies and minds.  By setting realistic expectations, our success rate improved dramatically!  For example, changing the sheets on our king sized bed was once a one-person task done in concert with a myriad of other domestic tasks.  Now, changing the sheets is a well planned dedicated activity requiring coordination with each others' needs, abilities and time. 

The first thing we farmed out was house cleaning. The only reason we still live in our current home is the family gatherings. The next will be the yard when I can’t keep up. My last project was moving the rock garden off the septic tank in the backyard. We had our house professionally landscaped 20 years ago. If I had remembered where the opening was the task wouldn’t have been as hard. It wouldn’t be as majestic when it goes back. 

[Donstar]

Covid/flu has cancelled plans for a son to be here next week to celebrate my 70th.  We are disappointed but we truly appreciate his consideration.  There seems to be an elevated level of attention placed on this birthday!   I know many on this forum have already experienced this milestone and know this feeling.  It is sort of like you are now officially an old person.  The problem is your mind doesn't get the same memo!  

[KARNUT]

34 minutes ago, Donstar said:

Covid/flu has cancelled plans for a son to be here next week to celebrate my 70th.  We are disappointed but we truly appreciate his consideration.  There seems to be an elevated level of attention placed on this birthday!   I know many on this forum have already experienced this milestone and know this feeling.  It is sort of like you are now officially an old person.  The problem is your mind doesn't get the same memo!  

The cold attitude has changed with the COVID pandemic. It used to be if you didn’t have a fever go as usual. They did and still do advertise cold and flu medication that let you go about your day as normal. Cold is as common as bad weather. I pause with a cold since Covid. I remember working in my tractor even with a soft cast. Try going through the woods on crutches. I’m older so being careful comes with the territory. The younger ones are becoming soft. The whole working from home even now is the trend. It just makes me wonder.

[Grumpy Bear]

1 hour ago, Donstar said:

Covid/flu has cancelled plans for a son to be here next week to celebrate my 70th.  We are disappointed but we truly appreciate his consideration.  There seems to be an elevated level of attention placed on this birthday!   I know many on this forum have already experienced this milestone and know this feeling.  It is sort of like you are now officially an old person.  The problem is your mind doesn't get the same memo!  

 

Spoiler alert. You wake up that morning feeling just like you did the day before.  It's a good thing. 

[Donstar]

On 2/2/2024 at 6:54 AM, Grumpy Bear said:

 

Spoiler alert. You wake up that morning feeling just like you did the day before.  It's a good thing. 

I'm thinking the "70" number will help justify the sore joints!   I don't get excited by birthdays but my 20th is one that will always stick out in my mind.  I woke up from a pre-birthday party feeling both excited and scared.  I was excited that I was no longer a  teenager under the watchful eye of my parents and scared that I was now an adult fully responsible for my future.  I was already out on my own and self supporting.  The overnight change was all in my head and nobody else would have noticed but that day the apron strings let go.    Some people don't ever see a correlation between independence and the number of candles on their birthday cake.  Some continue to depend on mummy and daddy past their 40th birthdays!  

[KARNUT]

15 minutes ago, Donstar said:

I'm thinking the "70" number will help justify the sore joints!   I don't get excited by birthdays but my 20th is one that will always stick out in my mind.  I woke up from a pre-birthday party feeling both excited and scared.  I was excited that I was no longer a  teenager under the watchful eye of my parents and scared that I was now an adult fully responsible for my future.  I was already out on my own and self supporting.  The overnight change was all in my head and nobody else would have noticed but that day the apron strings let go.    Some people don't ever see a correlation between independence and the number of candles on their birthday cake.  Some continue to depend on mummy and daddy past their 40th birthdays!  

I started working in the summer at 12. Being the oldest began babysitting at the same time. We grew up quicker and weren’t cuddled. Our parents guided us more than directed. My father never took us to work. He wanted us to choose our way. I after 17 finally went to his work and got a starter job. I chose it for a career after graduation. Once the wives were convinced that the most important job ( raising children) was unfulfilling everything changed. Whole new industries sprang up designed to relieve parents guilt. Houses got bigger kids got wilder being brought up by schools and daycare. Then after school activities became a big business. People were hardly home. Divorce became the norm and weekend dads needed something to do to entertain the kids. The kids became wilder. Schools are war zones with un disciplined kids that never grow up thinking the world owes them everything. All started by liberated women telling the wives their job is unfulfilling. Nothing is more important than watching your children grow. Get the big house you never see later. I always knew my mother was home if I needed her. There’s nothing more grounding than that. There’s was nothing more satisfying knowing I could have long conversations with her at anytime. That allowed me to have the foundation to mature quickly. 

[Donstar]

I worked in elementary schools for 35 years and saw the difference between children raised with a full or part time parent.  (Many of us secretly listen to Dr. Laura on our XM radios and she is spot on in her views on this topic!)  There are exceptions but the long term benefits of a parent in the home full-time outweigh any temporary financial gain.   I remember a parent once dropping her 9 yr old daughter off in my classroom directly after being discharged from a week in the hospital and before going home.   The parent told me to watch out for her a she is still very weak.  The parent ignored my concerns and told her daughter to walk straight home after school.  Mom then went off to work.  By the end of the morning my first aid training was used to revive this young person and CPS handled the rest.

[KARNUT]

We were informed yesterday my mother in law who’s in memory care assisted living has tested positive for Covid. They have a mild form going around they say. It’s her first time. It’ll be interesting to see if my wife is exposed, then me and all the people we were around working on her house.

[Donstar]

"Age is just a number" ..... unless the number is 70!   I received flowers yesterday in honor of my recent birthday from a childhood connection.  I've seen this person once as an adult several years ago.   Two days ago a couple who emailed me on my birthday last week came by with a cake and a card.  They knew when my birthday was, but had just realized how many!  Seventy, as a number of birthdays, is a significant number as many of you will attest.  It will cause your friends and relatives to take notice!     In your sixties you can stretch identifying as middle aged but this officially ends at midnight on your 70th!    I can brag about my abilities and desires but I am now officially old!   

[KARNUT]

6 minutes ago, Donstar said:

"Age is just a number" ..... unless the number is 70!   I received flowers yesterday in honor of my recent birthday from a childhood connection.  I've seen this person once as an adult several years ago.   Two days ago a couple who emailed me on my birthday last week came by with a cake and a card.  They knew when my birthday was, but had just realized how many!  Seventy, as a number of birthdays, is a significant number as many of you will attest.  It will cause your friends and relatives to take notice!     In your sixties you can stretch identifying as middle aged but this officially ends at midnight on your 70th!    I can brag about my abilities and desires but I am now officially old!   

My father in law said he noticed a slow down at 80. At 94 he says he only feels weakness. I witnessed him in action. I see it in his son’s. It’s genetics. I slowed down starting in my fifties. Hips,knees, joints, back, ouch. Same with my brothers. My mother in law came through Covid testing negative in 5 days. Very mild. She was isolated from the beginning. Since 2020 absolutely terrified. Only got exposed in assisted living. She feels like she’s been robbed of 4 years of her life. The day she tested positive she made a good by call to my wife. She was convinced she was going to die. She expressed she was glad that her daughter had me to comfort her when she passed. Really. 

[Grumpy Bear]

1 hour ago, Donstar said:

 In your sixties you can stretch identifying as middle aged but this officially ends at midnight on your 70th! 

 

 If 60 is the middle then you expect to life to 120? Oh, it comes much sooner than that my friend. 

 

Helping my wife through this broken ankle has taken about a dozen years off the way I feel. Activity is huge even when you don't feel like doing it. Even when it hurts. 

 

1 hour ago, KARNUT said:

My father in law said he noticed a slow down at 80. At 94 he says he only feels weakness. 

 

My dad is the same. He was still hand setting fence in his 80's and now it's hard to get out of his chair. 

 

[KARNUT]

1 hour ago, Grumpy Bear said:

 

 If 60 is the middle then you expect to life to 120? Oh, it comes much sooner than that my friend. 

 

Helping my wife through this broken ankle has taken about a dozen years off the way I feel. Activity is huge even when you don't feel like doing it. Even when it hurts. 

 

 

My dad is the same. He was still hand setting fence in his 80's and now it's hard to get out of his chair. 

 

There’s was a few times as recently as a year ago I was 67 mind you my father in law asked me to do a labor intensive task. I witnessed him at 67 doing things I quit doing in my 40s. Recognizing your limits is a must to limit pain and recovery. He just couldn’t understand he never felt pain from hard working. He just got weaker until now he’s almost immobile. Still sharp as a tack. He’s hard to understand. Everything is failing in unison. He still says he has no pain. In a week he will be in a nursing home near us. We’re the only ones retired both being the oldest. So visiting will almost be daily. 

Edited February 16 by KARNUT

[richard wysong]

Stan your FIL is a lucky guy that he has loving family  that will visit him. Too many times the older folks end up in assisted living and are forgot about except on holidays. Bless you