Trying to drop a groaner at work

[MaverickZ71]

On 9/11/2019 at 5:05 PM, Imcrazy said:

I'm a traveling sales rep, I have dropped a deuce in a great many bathrooms, eventually you learn to just grab some TP, wipe the seat down and move on... I usually seek out rest stops or Lowes or Home Depot's as they all seem to be pretty clean with multiple stalls to choose from..

Yeah, but as Larry the Cable Guy said, at the Home Depot they need to be sure to put signs that say "Toilets for Display Purposes Only!".  

[MaverickZ71]

On 9/22/2019 at 6:35 AM, CadillacLuke24 said:

I was laughing so hard I was in tears. You guys are a freakin' riot!

 

For those of you doubting the possibility of these occurrences, I once had to clean up a coffee mug filled with crap. In the Sporting Goods department of a Kmart. 

 

People are rotten. Sad but true. So very very very true. 

Gives a whole new meaning to "Clean up on Aisle 4!"  

[HeySkippyDog]

I'm in the process of my yearly weight loss before the holidays to offset what's coming. Which means I'm eating low carbs, ungodly amounts of roughage, and moderate protein and stepping up the cardio.

When your dinner consists of a whole dinner plate covered with sauteed brussel sprouts, you get effortless shitting that are typically of the One-Wipe-Charlie variety.

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[CadillacLuke24]

Those are nice. Not diarrhea bad but they just plop out on their own. 

[HeySkippyDog]

Those are nice. Not diarrhea bad but they just plop out on their own. 

Really clears out the intestines. You feel hollowed out and more agile.

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[txab]

[HeySkippyDog]

That is something that would happen in our office if such a sign was posted. Lol

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[JimCost2014]

On 9/11/2019 at 3:05 PM, Imcrazy said:

I'm a traveling sales rep, I have dropped a deuce in a great many bathrooms, eventually you learn to just grab some TP, wipe the seat down and move on...

That sounds like the opening line of an "Epic Movie", dark screen, maybe James Earl Jones as the narrator......

[HeySkippyDog]

Anybody ever take a dump, look in the bowl, and seriously not remember eating corn?

I was at a total loss until I realized the black bean burgers I had in the freezer had corn in them.

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[HeySkippyDog]

I saw a post about air travel and reclining seats, but my comment to that is more toilet humor, so it belongs in this official toilet humor thread.

I used to travel a lot for work. One time I was on a plane and a 4 or 5 year old kid was whining about the pressure change and his ears, usual kid stuff on planes.

I had a western omelet for breakfast and all that egg, sausage, and hot peppers and hot sauce was gurgling in my guts.

I decided I'd crack one loose, as your sense of smell/taste is reduced at altitude.

Not enough it seemed!

Kid: Mommy. It STINKS IN HERE! *soft sobbing*

Mother: I know, it'll be ok. Shhhhh.

A few minutes goes by, so I cut another.

Kid: *full blown cry* IT STINKS AGAIN!

[emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787]

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[HeySkippyDog]

Here we go! Condition Blue!

The cleaning lady is almost done, and my Thai hot lunch is punching my guts like Rocky Bowelboa!

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