Trying to drop a groaner at work

diyer2 · September 22, 2019

People will do many things if they think they can get away with it.

From this to murder.

Chevyguy85 · September 23, 2019

13 hours ago, CadillacLuke24 said:

I was laughing so hard I was in tears. You guys are a freakin' riot!

For those of you doubting the possibility of these occurrences, I once had to clean up a coffee mug filled with crap. In the Sporting Goods department of a Kmart.

People are rotten. Sad but true. So very very very true.

Oh we're going outside the bathroom? Alright one time a guy couldn't make it to the bathroom (they're upstairs and sometimes a bit of a walk) so he just went in the stairwell. My buddy was loading a 53' and the walls were covered in poo. Another time someone I guess couldn't hold it either so they dropped the kids off in a tote box, put another tote on top of it. Apparently that area smelled for a week or two until someone found it. Worst thing I've done is I had an upset stomach from some pizza and I turned around while working to talk to my buddy and said one or two words and ended up puking lol. Turned right back around and kept working. That old turd still brings that up every time we have pizza at work, which if the "company" buys us anything that's what it is 99% of the time on that shift.

HeySkippyDog · October 9, 2019

It's time to drop a groaner! Wish me luck!

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CadillacLuke24 · October 15, 2019

On 9/22/2019 at 7:52 AM, txab said:

By "clean up", I hope you meant "throw away".

Oh yeah. Gingerly peeled the barcode off the unscathed bottom, hermetically sealed that biohazard in two grocery bags, and hucked it in the dumpster out back.

dieselfan1 · November 4, 2019

Great a thread about sh***ing.

Working in construction almost 40 years I've seen some nasty ass shi**ers. I've shit in boxes, buckets , paint cans, bags , you name it.

A few years ago I was taking some oxycodones for my back.

I didn't shit for a few days. Finally I took some miralax to get some action .

Next day I'm on a big apartment job big bldg 150 guys working there. There was 3 shi**ers outside the door and

10 am and I got to shit now. Not ten minutes from now.

I go to shi**er # 1 no paper

Same with #2 and #3. I'm panicking now. I couldn't wait no longer.

Boom at least I didnt sh** my pants. It was like pulling the plug on an RV. What a mess.

I had to use my undies to wipe my ass. Commado the rest of the day. Couldn't wait to get home and shower.

That's one of my shit stories.

I have many.

Edited November 10, 2019 by txab

HeySkippyDog · November 4, 2019

I have sh** my pants recently, as in within the last year. I like apple juice to the point where it sometimes makes my bowels explode. There was no warning. Just intense shart cramps, 150 PSI at my butthole, and trying to contain that pressure while walking is impossible. I lost the fight. It blew upwards out of my waistband in the back, and down the legs of my jeans.

It cost me a pair jeans and a belt.

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Edited November 10, 2019 by txab

dieselfan1 · November 4, 2019

The older I get the less warning. Also don't trust a fart.

Even them little sqeakers are dangerous.

I don't gamble like I used to.

dieselfan1 · November 4, 2019

My wife had a little accident in the can at Dennys once years ago. We still remind her of that.

HeySkippyDog · November 4, 2019

My wife had a little accident in the can at Dennys once years ago. We still remind her of that.[emoji38]

Did she not get her drawers down in time? Lol. Denny's makes me instantly power-duke on-site.

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dieselfan1 · November 4, 2019

She walked away unscathed but the bathroom had some poop on the floor. Maybe a little on the wall too.

She was wearing a dress so draw your own picture.

We still go there and have a laugh about it especially if she has to go the bathroom .

Edited November 4, 2019 by dieselfan1

dieselfan1 · November 5, 2019

Once in while I text my wife this out of the blue .

Sometimes I'll get a laugh out of her. Not always though

HeySkippyDog · November 5, 2019

Back in 2012, I dated this girl who was adamant that farting was unnecessary, and that she NEVER farted. So because she always gave me such grief over a booty burp, I told her if she ever farted in front of me, I'd make sure she never forgot.

Well, one 4th of July at my parents house, she got tanked and was throwing up in the toilet. I was there to help her out, being the nice guy I am.

She started squirming and writhing around on the floor, when suddenly...

*BOW WOWOW WOW*

Loudest fart I ever heard in my life.

Their house is mostly tile, so it echoed all the way to the living room and my friend said "Nice fart, dude!"

She told me never to correct them and say it wasn't me.

That lasted about 3 days.

My ex brother-in-law made a song about it that still exists on Soundcloud.

https://m.soundcloud.com/andrew-johnson-132/she-farted

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