Joke Thread

[MaverickZ71]

Hey Grandpa, what's for supper? Chicken fried steak with fried potatoes and onions, smothered in cream gravy, buttered sweet corn, biscuits with honey butter, apple pie, and iced tea.  YUM YUM 

Edited June 9 by MaverickZ71

[diyer2]

Don't know how accurate, but this is not a joke!

 

 

 

[richard wysong]

That's why they call it Taxachussetts and we are Massholes

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

[KARNUT]

7 hours ago, MaverickZ71 said:

And staying in the right lane, except to pass.

[diyer2]

 

[MaverickZ71]

[diyer2]

 

[MaverickZ71]

A new grocery store supercenter opened up by my house. 

 

It has an automatic water system to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. 

 

When you go to the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent of freshly mowed hay. 

 

When you approach the egg cases, you hear chickens clucking and the air is filled with the scent of bacon, eggs and homemade biscuits cooking. 

 

The veggie aisle features the smell of freshly roasted, buttered corn.

 

I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

[MaverickZ71]

Joe and Jill stopped at a small diner for breakfast while visiting France. 

 

The waitress came over to take their orders. 

 

Jill ordered an omelet. 

 

She turned to Joe and asked for his order. 

 

Joe, after sniffing the waitress, smiled, and said sweetly, "Honey, could I have a quickie?" She stormed off.

 

After a few seconds, Jill said quietly, "Joe, it's pronounced quiche.”

[MaverickZ71]

When the engine is 1.5 quarts low on oil and she puts 1.5 gallons of windshield washer fluid in it.

 

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]