Joke Thread

[diyer2]

 

[diyer2]

 

[diyer2]

 

[diyer2]

"OLD" IS WHEN...

"OLD" IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN.... A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.

[Donstar]

This was printed on a t-shirt that just popped up on my computer: "It's weird being the same age as old people."   

Edited January 9, 2023 by Donstar

[diyer2]

 

[diyer2]

 

 

[diyer2]

 

[customboss]

12 hours ago, diyer2 said:

 

I pull over to roadside to let them pass and I get a flat in one of these for the kindness I show to people in a hurry.  

 

[KARNUT]

On the interstate the right lane has a minimum speed and a speed limit. The passing lane has a not to impede traffic. I asked a traffic policeman once. You come to a line of speeder who do you stop. The last one in line was the answer. 

[Grumpy Bear]

On 1/10/2023 at 6:09 AM, diyer2 said:

 

 

And if you are doing the speed limit and the line forms? 

 

Do you know where the 'rule of thumb' saying comes from? 

 

[richard wysong]

I often pull off on secondary roads and let following cars pass even if there is only 1 as I drive at my own pace, sometimes fast and sometimes not. What is frustrating is multi lane hiways where people "road block" the passing lanes. Pass and move over! I understand most tractor trailers are governed around 70mph and it can take many miles for a pass to occur. Very frustrating on the 2 lane interstates to be behind them. And now back to the show....

[Grumpy Bear]

10 minutes ago, richard wysong said:

I often pull off on secondary roads and let following cars pass even if there is only 1 as I drive at my own pace, sometimes fast and sometimes not. What is frustrating is multi lane hiways where people "road block" the passing lanes. Pass and move over! I understand most tractor trailers are governed around 70mph and it can take many miles for a pass to occur. Very frustrating on the 2 lane interstates to be behind them. And now back to the show....

 

They pass faster if you run a bit below the limit. I call that cluster of vehicles all in a jockey for position 'the beehive'. I say out of them buy staying right and running a bit slower. The hive passes you faster. Clusters are dangerous places to drive, don't you agree? And brother, you can't outrun a hive.  

 

 

[KARNUT]

I don’t do clusters unless I’m in front. I’ll do a couple over on two lanes no more. I don’t do shoulders that’s where the debris are. I will slow a bit coming on 4 lanes passing lanes. Let the speeders pass. I don’t do under unless I’m alone. 

[Donstar]

1 hour ago, Grumpy Bear said:

 

And if you are doing the speed limit and the line forms? 

 

Do you know where the 'rule of thumb' saying comes from? 

 

Personally, I don't use this expression because of the "matrimonial" folklore reference but this is not proven to be where this idiom originated. Unfortunately decent words get removed because of offensive historical references.  Many of our street, building and geographical names are being changed because of suspected connections to people(s) who would not be deserving of this honour today.   This is fine in some very specific situations but many/most of these names are arguably far removed from an individual sharing the name.