Joke Thread

[Grumpy Bear]

1 hour ago, MaverickZ71 said:

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?

"Well," said the director, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the bathtub drain plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

 

Curious, do you have a day job? 

[MaverickZ71]

1 hour ago, Grumpy Bear said:

 

Curious, do you have a day job? 

Sure. I'm the FBI handler assigned to monitor you and Customboss. So I took a side gig with the Merva bros on here to post jokes. Are you not entertained?

[MaverickZ71]

[customboss]

3 hours ago, MaverickZ71 said:

[customboss]

15 hours ago, MaverickZ71 said:

More true than one would think!!!! 

[customboss]

11 hours ago, MaverickZ71 said:

Sure. I'm the FBI handler assigned to monitor you and Customboss. So I took a side gig with the Merva bros on here to post jokes. Are you not entertained?

What YOU TALKING BOUT WILLIS?????

 

 

[MaverickZ71]

I used to just crastinate, but I got so good, I went pro.

[MaverickZ71]

My wife just got home from her driving test. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 people jumped clear. 

Edited August 30 by MaverickZ71

[MaverickZ71]

[MaverickZ71]

Got wood?

 

[txab]

[MaverickZ71]

6 hours ago, txab said:

Guessing they won't be getting their deposit back. 

[garagerog]

20 hours ago, MaverickZ71 said:

I kid you not some 50+ years ago I had a next door apartment neighbor strap a mattress to the top of his car and make the drive from Pullman,Wa. to Ellensburg, Wa. to visit his college girlfriend, a distance of some 180 miles. I'm guessing I was afraid if I loaned him the money "To just get a damn room"! I wouldn't get the money back.

[txab]

[MaverickZ71]